Just a little longer.

It's nothing.

All of this, it's all for fun. I guess I need to enjoy myself more and stop hoping for something magical in the mist of everything to happen. I just need to live this g thang and ride that muhfucka out. If I just play my shit right, somebody will notice. Maybe somebody will really fall for me like that brother Mike Posner if I made a song. I'm just content with my life, I'm hoping that I can make it through the bullshit. But I that is what's going to make me stronger, like a wise person once told me.

Patience is the key

808

This blogspot is like my personal journal unfortunately, before I felt so comfortable baring all to the world. Now I'm scared of writing down my true emotions on pieces of paper, or electronic word tablets on the internet. Why? It's because I don't want a certain someone to see it, it shows my weakness. I want to show that I'm strong enough to withstand these rejections in my life, but I truly can't. I die inside every time knowing that I what I want is not what I deserve.

I swear, I see myself hoping and wishing for things that will never happen to me and for it to just magically occurs in my forsaken situation. I was never lucky... I still feel these imaginary cuts and bruises on my heart, its like my soul is losing it's grip on me. These emotions are going to be the end of me, and I know it for a fact. I still don't feel comfortable talking to either Le or Alex about my love life because apparently now I realize I have none. I'm starting to feel that I wasn't destined for such happiness in these times of hardship.

Maybe God had different plans for me, what if I was like the leader of the revolutionary army and the girl of my dreams was some crazy psycho broad that had muscles and knew how to pop gats and rocket launchers. Every night we would have some of the most masculine sex resulting with me tapping out when she pins me down and have me call her "daddy".

Dang... I really liked you, I don't know how much longer I can take this. I can't stand looking at you knowing that you don't want to look at me the same way. I know you're my type, you got everything I want in a girl... I don't think you're ready to understand the lengths I will go if you allowed me to get close. I don't know if my love is worth it anymore...

Nasty but Never Dirty ^^

I'm bored, and not so bored at the same time.


I'm doing this blog because it's just the fact that I have time to do it right now. I don't have to do anything today besides just stay home. I don't find that depressing, I like staying home from time to time. It gives me that alone time to fully collect my thoughts together and think of my next steps forward in my life.

It's crazy that I've seen about three shooting stars during this week. I wonder if even my wishes would come true. I mean I would have to actually meet somebody that made a wish off a shooting star and it came true. Then I would truly believe that making wishes from stars is true. The only reason why I don't believe it right now is because I don't know if it usually happens the next day. Or does it take time before it actually comes true O.o

There's hella change right now, the weather's been changing, the economy been changing, Obama won and now the world is going to change. But what I also don't like is that some of the props that I've been campaigning against have been passed. =.= It's ok, I'm not necessarily mad, just disappointed at the turn of events. But at least 00 passed, Kids First :)

Eventhough I didn't go to a UC or a State like everybody else, I try to make the effort to at least attend the events they go to. People become suprised when they see me there and I don't blame them either. There are times where people asked me what school I go to.. and I usually have really embarassed about the school I tell them. I wished I didn't fuck up so bad in High School, but I couldn't help it. I was in denial and that has set me back for a really good min.

Still though, I have a blast just getting around and shit. I know my life isnt really the best either, but I try to live it to my full extent. I still wished that I was in either the state or UC system, but I guess I'ma have to wait now. It's koo, I met a lot of new folks and cute girls :) still eventhough I aint in those colleges yet ^^. So it's all good, I hope everybody could just expect that I'm goin to be everywhere.

Vote No.

NO on Prop 6 and 9.
If you can vote, please do so.
Spread the word about it. Research on these Props and challenge them D:

Sorry.

Sorry.

Not easy to say.

Not easy to repeat.

Not easy to hear period.

It's really the only thing that you could go to.

After all the fame is gone.

The money isn't there anymore.

When any other word becomes annoying.

Sorry is what holds the bridge together.

But it's harder said then done.

You may buy gifts to say you're sorry.

You may buy meals to say you're sorry.

You may put on your older sister's shoes and take pictures with your niece matching with her dress and have eye liner on with puckered lips to say sorry.

But one sentence.

Will end all battles, wars, quarrels, and etc.

Think about it, instead of blaming somebody. See who's the one truly wrong and should say

Sorry.


P.S. I didn't know that "I'm Sorry." could be a sentence. When did sorry become that verb or whatever to make just that one word even complete a sentence in literary terms D:

After Some Thought. A BIG DECISION

There has already been a couple of bolts and cogs meshing together.
But I have decided to start writing a movie.
I have been inspired by how widely famous Wongfu Productions has made it so far on youtube.
I decided to go into the makings of writing out my own movie and then work long enough to buy the equipment necessary to make this production. Not only do I hope that I make something thats beautifully crafted, but also showcase talents and skills that people have.
I would like this to become a group project, much help and commitment would be really appreciated.


P.S. For those who think that I may never get this chance of actually making something of this caliber, you guys must don't know me. I am not the type of person that likes to sit around and just dream big, but I am the type of guy that would try his hardest to get the motors on this ship moving. If you're serious about making this movie possible, I'm just as serious as well.

Ode to the Ones That Did Me Durrty

Thats right. You did me dirty.

You took a part of me into your life and I did the same.

But you decided to completely eradicate the link between us.

You severed it by using real emotions and shot them
like real bullets to rip my heart apart.

Young and foolish, I didn't know how to take it

Hurt and bruised, I didn't know how long I could fake it.

As we grew more distant, the relationship became more cold.

At the end, my love for you was frozen.

Thats right. You did me dirty.

Your eardrums kissed my words.

We laughed, cried, and smiled together like a child's book.

My pride was on the highest point, and you knocked it over like you didn't see it.

Struck from sudden shock. Numb by the feeling of seeing your back.

Thats right. You did me dirty.

I hugged you in great care.

Words of common grounds bare great comfort.

Trusted you of what you said seal with the word "Promise"

Ignorant and young, I just wanted to feel fire on these fist.

My tears were never cold as the spill down my cheek bones

I can feel the searing pain until you dripped from my chin.

Thats right. You guys did me dirty.

I can never forget the pain you guys inflicted in me.

It has made me for what I am today.

For that.

Instead of saying "FUCK YOU"

I say, "I LOVE YOU"

I hope in the future you can speak to me again peacefully.