It's nothing.
All of this, it's all for fun. I guess I need to enjoy myself more and stop hoping for something magical in the mist of everything to happen. I just need to live this g thang and ride that muhfucka out. If I just play my shit right, somebody will notice. Maybe somebody will really fall for me like that brother Mike Posner if I made a song. I'm just content with my life, I'm hoping that I can make it through the bullshit. But I that is what's going to make me stronger, like a wise person once told me.
Patience is the key
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
808
This blogspot is like my personal journal unfortunately, before I felt so comfortable baring all to the world. Now I'm scared of writing down my true emotions on pieces of paper, or electronic word tablets on the internet. Why? It's because I don't want a certain someone to see it, it shows my weakness. I want to show that I'm strong enough to withstand these rejections in my life, but I truly can't. I die inside every time knowing that I what I want is not what I deserve.
I swear, I see myself hoping and wishing for things that will never happen to me and for it to just magically occurs in my forsaken situation. I was never lucky... I still feel these imaginary cuts and bruises on my heart, its like my soul is losing it's grip on me. These emotions are going to be the end of me, and I know it for a fact. I still don't feel comfortable talking to either Le or Alex about my love life because apparently now I realize I have none. I'm starting to feel that I wasn't destined for such happiness in these times of hardship.
Maybe God had different plans for me, what if I was like the leader of the revolutionary army and the girl of my dreams was some crazy psycho broad that had muscles and knew how to pop gats and rocket launchers. Every night we would have some of the most masculine sex resulting with me tapping out when she pins me down and have me call her "daddy".
Dang... I really liked you, I don't know how much longer I can take this. I can't stand looking at you knowing that you don't want to look at me the same way. I know you're my type, you got everything I want in a girl... I don't think you're ready to understand the lengths I will go if you allowed me to get close. I don't know if my love is worth it anymore...
I swear, I see myself hoping and wishing for things that will never happen to me and for it to just magically occurs in my forsaken situation. I was never lucky... I still feel these imaginary cuts and bruises on my heart, its like my soul is losing it's grip on me. These emotions are going to be the end of me, and I know it for a fact. I still don't feel comfortable talking to either Le or Alex about my love life because apparently now I realize I have none. I'm starting to feel that I wasn't destined for such happiness in these times of hardship.
Maybe God had different plans for me, what if I was like the leader of the revolutionary army and the girl of my dreams was some crazy psycho broad that had muscles and knew how to pop gats and rocket launchers. Every night we would have some of the most masculine sex resulting with me tapping out when she pins me down and have me call her "daddy".
Dang... I really liked you, I don't know how much longer I can take this. I can't stand looking at you knowing that you don't want to look at me the same way. I know you're my type, you got everything I want in a girl... I don't think you're ready to understand the lengths I will go if you allowed me to get close. I don't know if my love is worth it anymore...
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